James and Dawn - New Intimacy for Empty Nesters

Life unfolds in stages. One day, you’re a young married couple with kids in school, immersed in family responsibilities and community activities. Suddenly – it seems – the kids grow up and leave the house. The family business becomes more taxing than ever, causing stress and tension in the marriage. And the marriage itself feels more like a business partnership than a close, loving bond.

If James and Dawn’s marriage was going to survive, Dawn knew something had to shift.

Throughout the past 15 years, Dawn had an intermittent coaching relationship with Kyle Mercer – sometimes through one-on-one coaching and sometimes by attending workshops and retreats. In fact, this coaching relationship prompted Dawn and James to invite Kyle to facilitate a Corporate Renewal for their family business. Dawn and James describe their Corporate Renewal as profound, which inspired both to commit to weekly individual coaching programs with Kyle.

“I felt the timing was right,” says Dawn. “Coaching with Kyle is an opportunity to continue working on myself and on our relationship. It’s a beautiful opportunity for us to grow together as couple, beyond being co-owners of a company.”

Dawn explains that the couple’s relationship had changed once the kids grew up and left the house. “I began to realize I wanted something different in our marriage. We had co-existed as great business partners and parents. Now I wanted something on a whole new level: more intimacy, more connection, more communication. I wanted something new for us.”

After just a few months of weekly one-on-one coaching with Kyle, Dawn is experiencing positive outcomes. “Personally, I feel more peaceful. And as a couple, I feel that James and I are in a more peaceful place. There’s less tension. There’s more harmony, communication, and connection – all the things I wanted.”

Business and personal coaching was new to James – coaching with Kyle Mercer was a leap of faith.

“When I started coaching with Kyle, I was experiencing some professional and personal issues, including issues in my relationship with Dawn,” James says. “Coaching was a new experience for me. When I first met with Kyle for a One Day at his home in Ashland, I felt safe and he encouraged me to be open.”

Even though James has only been coaching with Kyle for about 6 months, he lists a variety of outcomes thus far. “I’ve learned how to pace myself, to calm myself, and to even out my ups and downs. I’m becoming more grounded in my personal and professional relationships.”

James now describes their marriage as stronger and lighter. “I was not a good communicator, but with Inquiry Method, I’m becoming a much better communicator. It’s still a challenge for me to practice inquiry and get my emotions out of the way,” he says. “Our goal as a couple is to achieve peace, love, and happiness – and Inquiry Method is giving us a vehicle to get there.”

Regarding Kyle’s ability as a personal coach, James offers this insight, “Kyle has a way of getting to the root causes of what gets in the way of living a happy life.” For business coaching, James relies on Kyle as a confidant and mentor. “I can bounce ideas off him. I’m CEO of our family business, and we’re experiencing a lot of changes right now – some of these changes are rocking my world! With Kyle’s guidance, I’m getting more grounded and working through the issues.”

“Kyle’s wisdom has changed my life.”

Dawn says she feels grateful – and fortunate – to have Kyle and Inquiry Method as part of their lives. “I encourage anyone who wants to have a happy, loving life to work with Kyle. If I wasn’t coaching with Kyle, I’m certain I wouldn’t have the life I have today. I’m not sure we’d be married. And our relationship with our children wouldn’t be as strong. My life is so much more enriched because of my ability to connect and inquire with others. Growth never stops, and my life continues to evolve.”

What is Dawn’s goal in life? “My goal is to live a beautiful life with James, to be happy, peaceful, and joyful. A big goal is to allow ourselves to enjoy the life we have. But we both had become our own blocks! In the past, we would say things like, ‘I’m not deserving. I’m not worthy. What would other people think?’ With Kyle’s guidance, we are both working through our issues and exploring the world with a new outlook. Personally, I discovered I had put a lot of limitations on myself – this goes back to core beliefs from my childhood. Kyle goes right to the core, and I’m learning more about myself every day.”

When it comes to personal and business coaching with Kyle, James offers this advice for others: “It’s an amazing experience. It takes a lot of courage to open up and think outside the box. I recommend coaching with Kyle to anyone who is open to change. Then let it take its course. It’s a beautiful thing.”